2018: A Year of Milestone Anniversaries—Both Historical and Personal

A few weeks ago, it dawned on me that 2018 brings with it three significant personal milestone anniversaries, with one connected to the historical anniversary today of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s, death.

As was true across the nation, the news of the assassination of MLK 50 years ago today brought with it disbelief, grief, anger, riots, and curfews. For the Kansas City area, the curfews began on April 5, the same day I arrived home from high school to find my 74-year-old father, who suffered from Alzheimer’s, lying down in our front yard. He had fallen and broken his hip. Appropriately, my mother rode in the ambulance that took him to Shawnee Mission Hospital and gave me directions to wait at home for her call to pick her up. Because her call didn’t come until several hours later, I was forced to drive the three miles to the hospital, and, trust me, at age 16, driving under curfew in the dark with no one else on the streets, worried I could be arrested, I was terrified. Still, Mother and I made it back home safely with no police officers stopping us. My father passed away a few weeks later shortly after the assassination of Robert Kennedy.

Continuing on the personal anniversary theme, this year will be the 100^th anniversary of the birth of my half-sister, Edna May, who was 33 the year I was born. Because of the difference in our ages, Eddie seemed more like an aunt to me than like a sister, but I remember her for her one-on-one chats when she would visit as well as for her unique birthday presents—one being an ant farm, which, I’m confident, my mother came close to banning from the house, especially when the ants themselves arrived in the mail. To honor Eddie, my father’s side of the family will be participating in our first big reunion in Breckinridge, Colorado, in June. I can’t wait for Granddaughter Samantha to meet more relatives on that side of the family!

Finally, it was 25 years ago in February that my mother passed away at age 88. Because I have a previous blog post recounting the details of that day, I won’t do so here. Instead, because way leads to way, I’m also reminded of several of my high school students I had the privilege of teaching that year—many who kept me going as I was deep in grief, with one student (one story), in particular, I must mention: Megan Denton was in my creative writing class—she had previously been in my freshman honors English class and frequently babysat for my son, then age 8. As was the beginning-of-class practice, I started with roll call—this one simply reading from a little book entitled I Have Learned with the expectation that students would emulate its examples by sharing something they had learned. Racing through a few pages, I was caught off guard when I turned a page and read, “I have learned that when someone special passes away….” I stopped reading as I tried to keep my emotions in check but was unsuccessful and began breaking down in front of the class. Not missing a beat, Megan jumped out of her seat, came to the front of the room, took the book out of my hands, continued reading a few more examples, and then led the class roll call. How blessed I have been to have had such wonderful students!

Yes, this year is, indeed, one for milestone reflections and embracing what I’ve learned:

•         Sometimes we can’t separate historical events from our own personal ones, regardless of their insignificance to others.
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•         People might be surprised that they still have the power to bring family together even after their passing.
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•        Even in times of sorrow, we can embrace happy memories, too, and those long-ago happy memories can still make us smile!
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•         Finally, it’s indescribable how quickly the years pass yet how fresh the memories remain.