I Can’t Help What I Like

Triggered by reading a movie review in this morning’s paper, I’m reminded by how my likes and dislikes can be so different with what seems to be the norm. I’m not talking about my general dislike for opera or skiing or Greek food or, even as a passionate dog-lover, pugs and Boston terriers, as I am in pretty good company with those topics. No, I’m talking about disliking what most people do like and appreciate, but I don’t. For example, I don’t like apple pie, and I’m the only person I know who doesn’t. I don't like candles because I'm afraid I'll burn down my house. I don’t like Harry Potter books, yet I appreciate that they are well written and have turned on millions of children to reading. In my personal and professional worlds, there are people whom everyone else seems to idolize, but I don’t; in fact, sometimes I’m not a fan at all. (Note that I’m smart enough not to mention specific names.) And my husband frequently reminds me that I’m the only person he knows who doesn’t like the movie Lawrence of Arabia. No, I don’t! In fact, quite honestly, it bored me out of my mind, and I actually fell asleep while trying to watch it. Because it’s my husband’s favorite movie in the universe, however, I truly want to like it…but I don’t!

Likewise, there are some things I do like, although I seem to be in the company of only a few. Back to the movie review I read this morning…. Granted, my husband and I saw The Wolf on Wall Street on Christmas Day, the day of its release, based on its good pre-release movie reviews. Since that time, however, I’ve read numerous reviews and comments from critics and friends who have labeled it “trash” and have admonished others for giving it such high accolades. For myself, however, not only did I like the movie, but I’m quite surprised that I liked it at all. In fact, the very next day, a few of my family members (at a post-Christmas gathering) asked me about the movie, and in all cases my response was “I’d describe it as ‘greed, drugs, and orgies’…but I liked it!” The looks on my relatives’ faces mirrored my own surprise since I despise greed, I don’t do drugs (except caffeine and a bit of alcohol, of course), and I’ll go to my grave being embarrassed by nudity (thanks to my Victorian mother). Still, I found the movie captivating because, at least based on what I’ve read, the story of Jordan Belfort was true! Yes, he thoroughly disgusts me! And I’m so glad, based on the movie’s depiction of life on Wall Street, that that culture has never been a part of my life. Still, what a great movie! In today’s review in the Kansas City Star, C. W. Gusewelle, whose writings I enjoy and respect, states, “I don’t make unreasonable demands of a movie. All I ask…is a narrative that’s coherent, a setting that is believable, and characters appealing enough that I care about their fates.” For me, however, it’s that last descriptor that doesn’t hold up. By the end of the movie, I couldn’t have cared less about Belfort’s fate! He was a disgusting asshole and, in my mind, deserved nothing good, based on his actions and lifestyle. Had the story been fiction, I might not feel the same; instead, I might lump it with the gruesome horror and bullet-and-blood-riddled Hollywood blockbusters that I can see no purpose for. But because The Wolf on Wall Street story is true, it fascinated me. At the same time I am reminded of Big Brother in Orwell’s 1984 and Archie Costello in Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War. What great characters to hate! What tremendous talents Orwell and Cormier—and Scorsese, in the case of Belfort—displayed in creating those characters that will stay with me.

My point here is not to review the movie, as I’m not a qualified movie critic. My point actually is a curiosity as to why people so passionately like different things compared to the norm (granted our taste buds are different) and specifically why I like and appreciate different things compared to most other people. Likewise, in my teaching life, I’ve found myself in the minority on several topics, issues, and methods, even when they carry the label as “research-based” or “best practices.” For example, a few that come to my mind are five-minute walk-throughs, the value of pacing guides, assigned reading based on quantity (see my previous blog), and limited passes to the restroom. At the same time, I know I’m a hypocrite in these areas because I’m confident that, if any of my former colleagues are reading this post, they could easily counter with “But, Kay, I distinctly remember when you used to….” (Fill in the blank with numerous truths—many that now make me cringe and for which I am often inclined to write personal letters of apology to former students and their parents).

I suppose the key is to keep our minds open to all possibilities, be tolerant (at least to a point) of others’ opinions and tastes, know when to keep our mouths shut about what we do and don’t like (so we can keep the friends we have—family members are stuck with us), and know that there’s nothing wrong with us when we deviate from the norm, even when we’re surprised by our own opinions. Holding to these practices should help me keep myself in check when I’m reminded that, just as I may be the only person who doesn’t like Lawrence of Arabia, my husband is the only person I know who doesn’t like pizza! (I’ll end here by practicing keeping my mouth shut.)